Frienship

I should be writing. Should be ... but I am not. Instead I am sitting here thinking about one of the themes behind my book. That of friendship and what finding a true friend actually means.

What is real friendship? This is the question I am asking myself today. Is real friendship being surrounded by people who only know one facet of your personality who perhaps don't really understand you yet they still fill up your life and time with evenings out, coffee mornings and general chit chat on a daily basis.

Or. 

Are real friends those people you have in your life who you never hear from, except maybe an odd text message or a birthday card but who you know if push came to shove and you were in a desperate place you could ring the at any moment and they would be willing to help. Take my good friend from a life time ago. I still think about her everyday and I know she thinks about me but we text each other every few months to check we are both alive and then we send each other meaningful cards at Christmas full of warm words of love. We live a million light years apart, we have to cross water to see one another - expensive water - but still I know that even though we have not spoken in an age if I was suddenly today to decide to do something extreme such as leave my husband, (I am not going to, but if I did) I could text her and say "I am on my way," and her response would be "I will put the kettle on."

Our lives have taken us on different paths and the commitments of being grown up has limited our ability to be together socially very often but I still know I feel the same way about her as I did all those years ago in that scummy student flat we shared, eating pizza, drinking wine and telling each other every single thought that we had.

That's what friendship is isn't it? It's not the time you spend with people who will never truly get you, it is the time that you spend thinking of the people who mean the world to you but you don't get to be with.

Someone told me once that if you have five very good friends that you could call to get you out of jail then you are very lucky person. I am inclined to agree. 

Five is not a very big number, but five amazing friends who would do anything for you at any time has got to far outweigh a hundred coffee morning buddies - and then some. 

I wonder if everyone has a 'get out of jail' buddy and if they truly appreciate their worth?